Prank Heaven
by mykardia
Summary: So, our two favorite guys are at each other again not slash except now the whole crew helps. Nyota's on both sides, Pike's on Spock's and McKoy's on Kirks...all the rest of the crew members are undecided...but they all enjoy the laughs. Chapter six up!
1. Chapter 1

**So, here's another fun story! I had the idea to make a fic where the Spock and Jim are continually pulling pranks on eachother, with the help of the other crew members =D**

**I do not own Star Trek(although it would be nice) I merely have fun with the lives of the characters =D**

**Hope you like it!  
**

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Prank Heaven

Part 1

It had all started with Kirk, _Captain_ Kirk, feeling extremely bored and realizing the best way to relieve his boredom was to play a prank on Spock. It was Jim's favorite game, get the pointy-eared Vulcan into an embarrassing situation. This time Kirk had decided to employ the help of Nyota.

Nyota sighed, she couldn't believe she was doing this. However, she had long ago decided she wouldn't take sides, and she knew that if Kirk could use her to embarrass Spock, then Spock would find a perfect way to use her to embarrass Kirk—and there were very few things that amused Nyota more than embarrassing Kirk. And it wasn't like she had much of a choice; Kirk had ordered her to help him.

Nyota reached up and kissed Spock, nibbling his lip and pulling him down onto the bed. Spock reached around her and pulled her closer. Nyota struggled to concentrate at her task. Spock was quite distractingly nibbling her neck.

"Nyota," Spock muttered, breathing deeply and kissing her neck. Nyota gasped and licked his ears. At least she could enjoy herself before completing her task. She reached down and pulled Spock's face to kiss it better. It was a breathtaking experience.

An hour later Nyota lay by Spock's side. She was struggling not to fall asleep. Spock had for once fallen asleep first. Nyota moved slightly and reached over to the bedside table. She grabbed a red permanent marker. Pulling the cap off, she moved and embraced Spock. She took the pen and gently drew a heart below his ear, and another on his neck. Task complete she fell asleep, hoping Spock wouldn't be too mad. She hoped he would realize it was all a game, and that he would show Kirk exactly what it meant to be embarrassed.

Spock woke up, and after consulting his inner clock jumped out of bed. He had less than two minutes to get to the bridge. He woke Nyota. She blinked at him and he quickly kissed her before telling her the time. She jerked awake and jumped out of the bed. Spock quickly dressed, watching Nyota do the same. She was grinning widely and every time she glanced at him she would giggle slightly. Spock was puzzled by this, but didn't have time to think about the matter. Instead, the moment she was done he walked out of his bedroom and strode towards the bridge. He arrived exactly on time.

"Spock, reporting, Captain." He stated calmly, adjusting his uniform. He stared right ahead.

Kirk turned in his chair, where he had been lounging and smiled widely. "Good to see you Spock. Enjoy your rest?" He asked. His tone suggested that Spock had not in fact rested.

"It was restful, Captain." Spock replied and went to take his seat. As he did so, Kirk turned around and snorted.

Spock turned back to him, "Is there something amusing, Captain?" He asked.

"No, no. I was just wondering if you were planning on getting those tattooed on." Kirk replied, laughing. Spock blinked, not understanding.

"What are 'those'?" He asked, suspiciously.

"Oh, don't act so innocent Spock! I think those hearts really suit you, really show your personality." Kirk grinned. Spock still had no idea what was occurring. He turned to face Nyota, who was staring fixedly at her monitor.

"Captain, would you please enlighten me?" Spock asked, getting irritated.

"Oh, here. Take this mirror." Kirk fished a mirror from his pocket and gave it to Spock. Spock took it with a raised eyebrow and looked into it. What he saw made his ears turn green, someone had scribbled two hearts on his face: one below the ear, and another on his neck.

"I assure you Captain, I was not aware of these images." Spock stated, flushing.

"Oh, don't worry you look great!" Jim laughed. Everyone on the bridge had heard the conversation and now turned to look at Spock. Spock fidgeted as each and everyone stared and then started to giggle. He glared.

"I will return in a moment." Spock stated and walked to the bathroom. He ran the water and washed his face and neck, scrubbing hard. However, when he washed off the soap the hearts were still there. He clenched his jaw and walked back to the bridge.

"Didn't come off? Ah well. Take you place, please Mr. Spock." Kirk said with a smirk. Spock glared and then sat down.

For the rest of the day, whenever anyone had to report to Spock they would do so while grinning or after taking a few seconds to cough surreptitiously. The fact that Spock glared at them only seemed to increase their amusement. As the day ended, Spock began thinking of a way to get back at Kirk; even if it was illogical to seek revenge. Spock had no qualms of asking Nyota to help, seeing as she had already assisted Kirk. When he shift was over Spock stood up.

"Captain." He stated, with a small smile. Kirk looked at him and then grinned.

"Go rest Spock, we all know you need it after such a hard day at work." Kirk teased, the day had been exceptionally boring.

"If I were you, Captain, I would take your advice. You might find yourself needing it tomorrow." And with that, Spock departed, leaving Kirk looking slightly more pale and Nyota stifling a grin.

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I will be updating as soon as possible, however i do have 2 other fanfics going so.....

hope you like it! =D please review!


	2. Chapter 2

**Here is another chapter...i was inspired to write it quickly =D Hope you like it!**

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Prank Heaven

Part Two

Spock watched in joyful apprehension as Nyota walked over to Jim, her hips swinging, a PADD in her hand. She stopped by Jim's chair and leaned over. Spock contained a smile as she purposefully placed her hand on Kirk's arm, massaging it slightly. The rest of the bridge team turned to watch, they could tell something was going on. Spock watched as Nyota leaned in a murmured something into Kirk's ear, he could see her smile. Kik's eyes widened and he looked up at her, his eyes alight. Nyota handed him the PADD and turned, dragging her hand down his arm and then walking away. She reached her station and glanced at Spock, her eyes alight with mischievousness. Spock contained a smile.

He watched as Nyota turned to face Kirk with a smile. She mouthed, very noticeably, "Please, prove to me you want me." Spock winced as the convincing expression she had on. Everyone was staring, mouths dangling open. However, Kirk didn't seem to notice. Spock hoped he would fall for it, he had spent several hours meditating on this particular joke. Nyota had contributed quite a bit to the plan. Now, he sat back and waited.

Jim looked over the PADD, his heart beating widely. Uhura has just told him that something special would happen if he did what she asked, he had a good idea of what kind of 'special' she meant. He could feel himself getting aroused from the mere thought. He gazed at Uhura, she turned to him and mouthed, "Please, prove to me you want me." This washed away any doubts he had been having. Kirk smiled suggestively at her. He could see Spock stiffen, oh too bad. Kirk grinned and stood up.

"Crew, I have a special event I would like you all to witness. I have been rehearsing a song I would like to sing to you. One of my old favorites." Kirk grinned, as the whole crew blinked and then laughed.

"Wow! Go Captin!" Chevok called. Jim chuckled.

"I do hope you like it. Computer play Lady Gaga's Poker Face, original version." Kirk called out. The computer obliged and began playing the upbeat hip hop song. On the PADD Uhura had handed him were the lyrics. Kirk smiled smugly, he couldn't wait to see what happened after he sang this song.

Kirk read the lyrics, and right on cue began singing, "Mum mum mum mah  
Mum mum mum mah

I wanna hold em' like they do in texas, please  
Fold em' let em' hit me, raise it baby, stay with me  
Luck and intuition play the cards with spades to start  
And after he's been hooked i'll play the one that's on his heart

Oh, oh, oh, oh, ohhhh, ohh-oh-e-ohh-oh-oh  
I'll get him hot, show him what i've got  
Oh, oh, oh, oh, ohhhh, ohh-oh-e-ohh-oh-oh  
I'll get him hot, show him what i've got

Can't read my, can't read my  
No he can't read my poker face  
(she`s got to love nobody)  
Can't read my, can't read my  
No he can't read my poker face  
(she`s got to love nobody)

P-p-p-poker face, p-p-poker face  
(mum mum mum mah)  
P-p-p-poker face, p-p-poker face  
(mum mum mum mah)

I wanna roll with him a hard pair we will be  
A little gambling is fun when you're with me  
Russian roulette is not the same without a gun  
And baby when it's love, if its not rough it isn't fun

Oh, oh, oh, oh, ohhhh, ohh-oh-e-ohh-oh-oh  
I'll get him hot, show him what i've got  
Oh, oh, oh, oh, ohhhh, ohh-oh-e-ohh-oh-oh  
I'll get him hot, show him what i've got

Can't read my, can't read my  
No he can't read my poker face  
(she`s got to love nobody)  
Can't read my, can't read my  
No he can't read my poker face  
(she`s got to love nobody)

P-p-p-poker face, p-p-poker face  
(mum mum mum mah)  
P-p-p-poker face, p-p-poker face  
(mum mum mum mah)

I won't tell you that i love you  
Kiss or hug you  
Cause i'm bluffin' with my muffin  
I'm not lying  
I'm just stunnin'

With my love-glue-gunning"

Jim sang, pitching his voice high and attempting to follow the beat. At the chorus the crew joined in, clapping their hands. Jim smiled, and started dancing, moving his hips in time with the music. He didn't notice when Spock hit the communicator so that a video of what was occurring was broadcasted all over the ship. When the song was over, Jim smiled. Then, as Uhura had asked him, said, "So, what do I get for all that singing?"

Spock let himself smile slightly as Kirk sang. When the song ended, Kirk asked, "So, what do I get for all that singing?" It was the code sentence. Spock watched as the sprinkler right above the captains chair went off, thoroughly soaking the captain. Kirk blinked and turned to look at Nyota. Nyota smiled and walked over to him. She patted him on the shoulder and then turned away.

"Told you something interesting would happen," She stated loudly. Spock had to bite his lip to keep from grinning. The rest of the crew had no qualms, but instead burst into laughter.

Spock walked up to the main screen and stated, "Computer please play video of Poker Face." On screen appeared a video of Kirk dancing and singing along. Spock went and sat down in his chair, satisfied.

Sulu was grasping his chair to keep from falling out, and Chekov had his head in his arms to keep from laughing too loudly. Nyota was grinning unashamedly.

Kirk turned to look at Spock. He was glaring. "Oh you are so dead, Spock."

"I am in perfect health Captain. There is no need to worry yourself over my well being. As I am as yet not dead, I can be content with the knowledge that I am at least not wet." Spock stated dryly, and turned to continue his work.

Kirk stared in utter disbelief, being extremely embarrassed by his actions. It had been a perfectly executed revenge, he would have to work hard to think of a comeback; but think of one he would.

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I will not be able to post for a few days.....

Hope you like the story so far =D

Please review!


	3. Chapter 3

**So, i was informed of a discrepency in my choice of music for Kirk....Poker Face is more for Spock....and Love Game would be better suited for Kirk....**

**i apologize....i will change it on some later date.**

**Hope you like this new chapter =)  
**

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Part 3

Spock walked down the hall towards sick bay, wondering why Dr. McCoy had asked him to come in. He was in perfect health he knew, and there was no reason why he needed to be checked up on. He entered the sick bay to find it empty except for McCoy. Everyone else seemed to be in perfect health, but no, the Doctor insisted on calling Spock from duty for a 'check up'. Spock knew that McCoy knew that Spock would know when he was sick and needed assistance, so there was no point to the 'check up'.

Sighing minutely, Spock walked over to a medical seat and sad down, back straight, hands clasped on his back. McCoy turned to face him.

"Ah, Mr. Spock. You're probably wonderin' why I called you in today." He said in his southern drawl. Spock blinked.

"Affirmative, Doctor." Spock answered calmly.

"Oh, good. Well, I have a vaccine I must give you, and that's why I needed you down here. Now stop looking so miserable and lay down." McCoy answered gruffly, with a note of amusement. Spock raised an eyebrow.

"I am not 'miserable' Doctor." He answered irritated slightly.

"Oh, but you will be. You see, I've got this new medical tool I wanted to try out on you. It's supposed to work miracles, if you catch my drift." Bones drawled out, with a hit of malice. Spock resisted the urge to role his eyes.

"Please proceed, Doctor. I have other matters I must attend to." Spock replied sharply. Spock watched as Bones shuffled around and then pulled something out.

"Here it is. Don't panic now." McCoy joked as he turned around holding something in his hands. Spock's eyebrow jumped as if trying to escape his face, and if he had been human his jaw would have dropped.

Kirk leaned back in his Captain's chair. It wasn't as comfortable as it looked, which said more than it didn't. He grabbed an apple—he had to start finding some other fruit to eat while on duty, apples got monotonous. He grinned; almost time to start part two of his plan.

"Uhura, do you know why Mr. Spock needed to visit sick bay?" Jim asked, jokingly.

Uhura turned around at her post and shot him a glare, "No, Captain." She turned back to her monitor.

"Oh, me neither. Why don't we find out?" Kirk raised his eyebrows. "Computer, audio from sickbay." He ordered.

Uhura whirled around, angry. "That is confidential Captain!"

"Oh, I doubt it. If it gets too personal I promise to shut it off. I just want to make sure my first officer is able to return to duty soon." Kirk chuckled. The computer projected what was occurring in sick bay.

Bones's voice rang out, "I've got this new medical tool I wanted to try out on you. It's supposed to work miracles, if you catch my drift."

Spock's voice answered, "Please proceed, Doctor. I have other matters I must attend to."

"Here it is. Don't panic now." McCoy sounded amused. There was a silence, by now everyone on the bridge was listening intently.

Then, after around forty seconds Spock stated, his voice slightly incredulous, "Doctor, I see no reason for using such a device. I am quite sure that the medical services of our time quite suffice, and such things need not be employed."

"Oh, don't worry! It's supposed to work miracles." Bones drawled.

"I see no purpose to it. I am quite sure the job can be done without employing it." Spock's voice sounded slightly appalled. Kirk covered a grin.

"Captain, what in the world is going on?" Uhura asked, slightly pale faced.

"Shush!" Kirk shot at her. Uhura glared. The rest of the crew was looking shocked and astounded.

"Oh. Don't complain! It makes the vaccine much easier to endure," Bones mumbled.

"I do not see its purpose. It is irrational to use it, it is completely unneeded." Spock's voice rang through the silence.

"You baby. It's supposed to distract you from the pain." McCoy stated.

A few chuckles were heard on the bridge. Kirk grinned evilly.

"Doctor, I assure you there is no resemblance between my mental, or emotion, or physical state with that of a child's. Moreover, that 'tool' is distracting, however I do not wish to be distracted. Please put it away and give me the vaccination without using such primitive tools." Spock sounded irritated.

"Mr. Spock! I'm a doctor not a nursemaid. You shall do as I ask, and I shall employ all tools I find necessary." Bones answered gruffly, getting annoyed.

"I find the tactics you are utilizing to be unprofessional and counterproductive."

"And I don't care. Now be quite and lay down! And don't move!" Bones ordered. A scrabbling sound could be heard and then a muttered, "Unorthodox techniques."

"You're done now. See, that wasn't so bad." Bones said in a sarcastic voice.

"Good day, Doctor," they could here Spock tell McCoy coldly. Then the sliding of a door opening and closing.

Kirk chuckled, "Well, it seems Spock met his match." There was some general chuckling. Just then Spock entered the bridge.

Kirk turned to look at him and asked cheekily, "So, how long was the needle Spock? That it was that scary?"

Spock turned to look at him, eyebrow raised. "I have no idea as to what you are referring to Captain."

Kirk laughed, "Oh, we heard everything that happened down in sick bay Spock. You sounded _terrified_."

Spock gave him a look, "Indeed. I was not _terrified_. However, I still do not understand what a _Care_ _Bear_ had anything to do with medicine." Spock stated coldly.

Everyone cracked up; even Nyota had to grab her chair to stop from laughing. Kirk looked at Spock. "So, it was a _Care_ _Bear_ then? Should have guessed." He said cheekily, relishing in the fact that Spock's ears were turning bright green. Nobody could stop laughing.

In the end, the worst that came of it was that at anytime which Spock noted an anomaly on the monitors someone would ask quietly, "Should we get the Teddy Bears now?" And _everyone_ would start laughing, except Spock who made a point to ignore it as best he could. Something drastic would have to be done to get back at the Captain for this particular prank.

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So?

Please review!


	4. Chapter 4

**So, thanks everyone for the awesome reviews! Here's the next chapter!**

**Hope you like it =)  
**

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Part 4

It had all been Pike's idea, once he had heard what Kirk had done to Spock, Pike had jumped right in and started rattling off ideas to get back at Jim. It was because of Pike that Spock was currently entering the human establishment called a bar. The noise was superb, especially so for Spock, who's delicate Vulcan ears could pick up every whispered conversation in the vicinity. That was one the reasons he avoided such places, he did not enjoy being privy to some of the more lewd discussions going on. He struggled to keep his ears from going green as he hear a male utter some very interesting things to a female, in one dark corner. He attempted to block out all noise. He turned to face Nyota, who stood by his side. She was grinning from ear to ear.

It had been Pike's idea that the best way to embarrass Kirk was to beat him at his own game, aka getting the girls. For some reason, unknown to Spock, Nyota had quickly jumped right in, adding in enthusiastic details of ways to embarrass Kirk. In the end it had been settled upon that Nyota would have the pleasure of dressing Spock up in casual clothes, and taking him to a bar. Pike would make sure that Jim was there as well, and accompany Jim to make him think nothing out of the ordinary was occurring. Despite his distaste for the bar, Spock couldn't help feeling amused at the prank he was about to pull on the Captain.

Spock nodded to Nyota, "Thank you my dear. If you will excuse me, I'm going to go find myself a few galls." He spoke quite audibly, so that many of the women at the bar heard him. He had been forced to memorize the sentence by Pike, apparently women liked knowing that the guy was on the lookout. Spock only knew that the sentence was one hundred percent illogical, seeing as Nyota was quite enough of a woman for him. Still, her grin reassured him, and he smirked slightly.

"See you hun." She winked, and then walked off towards the bar, swinging her hips. Spock watched appreciatively and then turned back to the room. He made his way over to the other end of the bar, walking briskly but elegantly. He slid into a seat next to one lady who was wearing a very low cut shirt. She had dyed blond hair, something Spock distasted. Still, he would complete his task. However, first he had to wait for Jim to appear.

Spock sat straight up, his hands in his lap, facing towards the door. Kirk arrived quickly, Pike in tow. He spotted Spock and grinned. He came over.

"Hey there. What are you doing in a bar, Spock?" He asked, incredulously.

"I am relaxing Captain." Spock replied calmly, making sure not to catch Pike's eyes, the Admiral was already trying to hide a grin.

"Really? I didn't know you knew the meaning of the word! Well, I'm here to enjoy the female companionship." He winked, lowering his voice. Spock sighed exasperated, resisting the urge to roll his eyes.

Jim grinned widely. He seemed about to say something, but then Pike stepped in. "Spock, you're looking good. I bet you could get some female's yourself." He winked.

Spock raised an eyebrow, everything was going as planned. "I am not interested in doing so, Admiral." He stated, but only so that Kirk could hear. He wanted everyone else to believe otherwise.

Kirk suddenly smirked, "Oh, I think you could get some. Here I know you never back down from a challenge, let's see which one of us can get the most girls to flirt with us in the evening." He raised his eyebrows suggestively, grinning broadly.

Spock smirked slightly—Jim had taken the bait. "Such a challenge would be illogical." He stated calmly.

Kirk slapped him on the shoulder, "You're only saying that cause you don't want to lose."

Spock stiffened slightly and then relaxed, "Fine. I shall oblige you Captain. What are the rules?"

Pike stepped in again, grinning broadly, "Oh, let's see. You get a point for every girl who comes up to you and flirts. Hm…for the game, let's say that it is only considered flirting if they offer some sort of sexual activity, complement you on your body, or touch you in a flirtation manner, for example if they stroke your leg or take your hand. Something of the sort. If you can't decide where it's flirting or not, call me over and I'll be the judge. Of you go!"

Kirk raised a hand cheekily, "Is it considered flirting if they buy you a drink?" Pike gave him a look and then grinned.

"Sure." He agreed, and then brushed them off. Spock turned back to face the bartender, who appraised him. Spock raised an eyebrow.

"Which beverage produces the most stimulating effect on the sensory molecules on the tongue?" Spock asked. Nyota had informed him that most females found his customary scientific language to be 'sexy', which at least let him behave someone like himself.

The lady glanced at him, with a sly smile. He noticed that she had several layers of cosmetics on her skin, he did not display the dislike he felt for such products, especially in such quantities. Cosmetics were illogical, and unneeded.

"The Cardassian Sunrise is very good sir." The bartender nodded, smiling slightly. Spock nodded.

"Two of those if you please." He noticed that the lady's eyes widened.

She scooted over slightly, "That's an awful lot of a handsome young man like you. Are you sure you wouldn't like to share?" She grinned suggestively.

Spock turned to her, his hand unconsciously playing with his black tie. Nyota had picked out some interesting clothes for him—a pair of dark semi-tight blue jeans, a pale gray shirt, and the tie. The top two buttons of his shirt were unbuttoned, and his sleeves rolled up slightly, and the tie was loose around his neck. She had also insisted he keep the shirt un-tucked. Nyota had declared him a lady killer, which he thought was a complement.

"I can hold my alcohol, however, if you'd like one you are welcome to it." Spock answered calmly. He didn't mention that alcohol didn't affect Vulcans. The lady grinned, and scooted closer. Point one, Spock thought. He took his drink and sipped it. A few minutes later he excused himself and went to sit at a table. He didn't have to wait long.

"Is this place taken?" A brunet asked, standing by the table with her raven haired friend. Spock shook his head, taking another sip of his drink. It was very delightful. The two ladies sat down next to him.

"So, what's your name?" The brunet asked. "I haven't see you around, and I know I would have remembered such a sexy creature as you." She grinned. Spock almost smirked. Two points.

"You may call me Spock." He answered, nodding. "I do not usually visit these establishments."

The raven hair girl smiled, "Hm, Spock is it? I have no doubt you don't come her often, Commander." Spock raised an eyebrow. The lady laughed.

"Well, since you are here, I want to say that I admire you greatly, your work in physics is quite exemplary. I had never imagined you were so good looking in real life." She chuckled. Spock's lips twitched up slightly, three points. He was about to respond when the waitress came over.

"For the handsome hunk, the ladies at table three sent these over." She winked, Spock noticed she had a very low cut shirt. The waitress placed five shots of gin on the table. Spock raised an eyebrow. Five drinks, he glanced over at table three and saw five females, not all of them humans. Five more points, he had eight already.

"Ladies, please help yourself to these. I must excuse myself. Please do not take it personally." He nodded and stood up. The ladies grinned and took the shots. Spock made his way over to where Kirk was entertaining three ladies.

"Jim, may I have a word?" Spock asked, giving a very small smile to the ladies. They turned to him, and all their eyes gazed over him. One of them even disengaged herself from Kirk and came to lean against Spock. Spock resisted the urge to wince.

"Jim, you didn't tell us you had such a handsome friend." The female winked at Spock. Spock nodded. Kirk looked irritated.

"What is it Spock?" He asked, gruffly. Spock raised an eyebrow.

"I've scored nine." Spock stated calmly, and smirked slightly when Kirk stared at him. Spock turned away and returned to the bar, things were going well, and Pike hadn't even called in the backup.

Pike watched as the ladies piled on Spock, smirking slightly. First time Spock had ever gone out into society wearing something other than his uniform and the females were just lining up. He really would have to do this again, even if it wouldn't be to embarrass Kirk. Pike suppressed a chuckle, the game was just beginning.

Pike got his communicator and stated softly, "Bring in the reinforcements."

"Roger that, Sir." The voice came through. Keeping a straight face, Pike turned to watch as suddenly the entrance was full of around twenty non-human individuals. Some had tentacles, some had antenna. All of them were rampaging towards Jim. He could see Jim looking apprehensive, and then grinning. Jim stood up, giving his most dashing smile.

Pike could see him gesturing to the non-humans, offering them all drinks. They all nodded, and Jim was quickly invisible behind a wall of individuals. Pike watched as Spock moved over the group and gave a small nod. Then Spock turned to the three ladies who Jim had been entertaining beforehand. The ladies glanced at Jim, then at Spock, and quickly joined Spock, at another table. Pike grinned, as Jim stared in disbelief. But then he waved to Spock and mouthed, "twenty-five."

Pike saw Spock nodded and respond, "Indeed." Pike turned away, and glanced up, making sure that the surveillance cameras were on and filming.

Spock turned to the crew, "Everyone had the right to know that I engaged the Captain in a challenge yesterday, to see which one of us could get the most females to 'flirt' with us." Spock waited until the laughter had subsided. He smirked, Jim still hadn't arrived on the bridge.

"Admiral Pike filmed the encounter, and has willingly given me the film to share. Computer play file 109LT7." Spock turned to the computer, and then went to sit at his station. Just as he sat down, Jim entered the room. He glanced up at the monitor and suddenly turned the color of the sunset.

"Spock you are playing this?" Kirk asked disbelieving.

"Affirmative Captain. It is an educational video; in it you display a wonderful talent in your diplomatic skills—with all species." Spock contained a smirk. He could see a few grins. Jim gulped slightly and sat down. He didn't realize that the film was being broadcasted through the whole ship, and on several others.

Everyone watched the screen, and observed the encounter. People were laughing when the girls attacked Spock, and when Spock told Kirk how many girls he had gotten. The film progressed until the rampage of non-humanoid species arrived. Sulu cracked up as Kirk was attacked.

_"Well hello ladies," Jim laughed, opening his arms. "Drinks are on me." Kirk laughed, on the screen. _

_ The group of individuals seemed to smile. Then one of them came up, and stroked Jim with its tentacle. "Oh, Jimmy. You look so delicious!" _

_ Jim stared for a second than grinned, "Why thank you. You are quite a beauty yourself. What's your name, mademoiselle?" He looped an arm around the tentacle. The individual looked offended._

_ "Jimmy, is mademoiselle a term that pertains to both genders?" The being asked, cooing slightly._

_ Jim looked confused, "No, of course not. Only for you pretty ladies." He winked._

_ The being chuckled, "Oh, but Jimmy, I'm a male. We all are, and we _love_ you!" He plastered himself to Jim, along with all the other males. Kirk turned pale._

The screen went blank, and Spock smirked as Kirk turned bright pink and everyone laughed.

Chevok stated, "Captin, I didn't knoe that you liked boyz." Kirk clenched his jaw. Spock got up and walked over to Kirk.

"Do not be alarmed Captain. You secret is safe with all fifteen hundred, and thirty one of us."

Kirk's jaw dropped. "All 1531 of you?" His voice came out in a horrified whisper.

"Did I not inform you that the film was being broadcasted all through the_ Enterprise_, the _Excalibur_ and the _Cleopatra_." Spock asked, innocently.

"No, you forgot to mention it." Kirk replied, white as a plank.

"Now you know." Spock answered, and was well aware of the fact that the whole conversation had been broadcasted. Revenge had been sweet.

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So?

Reviews are love! please review =)


	5. Chapter 5

**So, i'm sorry this took so long...i was busy! Here's the next chapter!**

**Also, the idea for this chapter was given to me by BohemianDragQueen! I had a basic idea of what i wanted to do...but then she started suggesting more things...and well this is the final outcome! So, please! Most credit for the idea goes to her....i'm sure she'd be happy if someone took the time to thank her for her contribution! =D She's awesome! (at least i think it's a she XD...lol..can never tell on )  
**

**Hope you like it =)  
**

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Part 5

Spock suppressed a groan as he surveyed the barely lit recreation room. The strobe lights were flashing along the walls and floor, making his eyes hurt as he tried to take it all in. He was furious at the Captain for having ordered all crew members to attend the impromptu party. He could see Kirk dancing with one of the ensigns now, moving his hips to the music, a drink in his hand. At least Nyota was there, he thought. He could see her making her way over to him, looking wonderful in a short black skirt and a tight black top. She grinned, a Cardassian Sunrise in her hand.

"Hey there handsome," she smiled at she came to stand right next to him. He was suddenly aware of just how intimate the environment was, the shadows providing enough room for them to be unseen by most. His heart sped up and he moved closer. Suddenly Nyota moved out of the way, a teasing glint in her eye.

"Uh uh." She whispered, tilting her head back slightly. Spock stepped closer, intent on pulling her closer but she stepped away again.

"_Nyota_," It came out as a low pleading moan. She smirked.

"Oh stop it Spock. Come on, let's dance." She nodded towards the dance floor, where various other couples were engaging in what could only be called writhing.

"That is not dancing." Spock stated, although he would have obliged her. She raised her eyebrows and her smile widened.

"Hm, if you say so." She stepped further away from him and Spock was drawn to follow her. Just as he was about to reach her the Captain called his name.

"Hey Spock! Enjoying yourself?" He slapped Spock on the shoulder, making Spock wince.

"No." Spock answered, irritated.

"Oh, well you have to have a drink! Hm, bet you I can drink you under the table!" Kirk joked, flashing Spock a confident smile. Spock sighed imperceptibly and raised an eyebrow. He was tempted to take Kirk on the challenge, liquored did not affect him. It would be amusing to be completely sober while Kirk was dead drunk. Spock smirked.

"I shall take you up on the challenge, Captain." Spock replied, and saw Nyota suppress a grin. She knew he wasn't affected by alcohol.

Kirk looked taken aback, but he grinned nonetheless, "Oh good. I'll go tell the bartender to get the drinks started." He grinned and moved towards the bar, which made Spock notice that Dr. McCoy was making the drinks. He could see the man scowling and looking exceptionally glum. However, as he watched he saw the doctor brighten as Kirk talked to him. Interesting.

Jim was smirking full out; oh he had got the pointed-eared bastard now. Not that Spock wasn't Kirk's great friend, but oh revenge would be sweet. His grin widened as he saw McCoy looking like an annoyed old lady.

"Hey there Bones! Spock took me up on the offer! So, make me four of those specials." Kirk winked. Bones brightened considerably and grinned despite himself.

"Oh, we've got the hobgoblin now. Coming right up Jim. You'd better get everyone's attention, wouldn't want 'em to miss the moment." Bones drawled.

Jim jumped up and whooped. He turned around, "Hey everyone! This is your Captain speaking! I'd like to get your attention! Please gather around! Okay, now you're all listening, I just wanted to inform you that Spock and I will be having a little competition. And it will be up to all of you to decide which up us gets drunk first!" Kirk called out, grinning from ear to ear.

Everyone let out a cry of amusement and excitement as he ended his impromptu speech and crowed closer to a table which had been placed in the middle of the floor. Kirk could see Spock standing in the corner, Nyota at his side. He had a small smirk on his face. Oh, he was going to get it!

Kirk walked over to the table, which was illuminated by a stationary strobe light. He sat down on his side of the table and nodded to Spock, trying not to grin too broadly. Spock walked out into the light to a variety of applause and cheering. He straightened his uniform, nodded to the crowd, and then sat before Kirk.

"Captain, please explain the rules." Spock stated his voice perfectly dry. Kirk chuckled.

"The rules Spock? There aren't any! First person to be considered drunk by this crowd looses! That's about it! Oh, and you can't just sip you drink, we both have to down each drink as fast as possible." Kirk stated smirking.

"Fascinating."

Jim tried not to act to confident, but couldn't stop smiling as Bones arrived carrying four tall dark drinks. He set two in front of both of them.

"You'd better not loose Jim, or I'll kill you myself." Bones scowled, but Jim knew he was trying to cover up his grin.

"Oh, stop it Bones! That's why we've got you."

"The Captain is correct doctor." Spock added, Bones gave him a look.

"Okay, round 1. On your marks, get set, GO!" Bones waved his hand through the air and Kirk grabbed the first drink, spilling some. He took a gulp, enjoying the fiery sensation as the liquored went down his throat. He took another gulp, and then another. He finished the first drink in record time, but as he glanced up he noticed that Spock had already started on his second. How the hell had the hobgoblin managed that!?

Kirk grabbed his other drink, spilling a bit of the foam. He gulped it down, keeping his eyes on Spock. Spock was perfectly graceful in his action, not spilling a drop and downing the drink in delicate sips. Somehow he still managed to finish his drink first. Spock placed his drink down on the table, licked his lips slightly and straightened, looking perfectly composed. Kirk slammed his drink down a few seconds later, wiped his mouth with his sleeve and gasped for air.

Bones was looking at him with a dubious expression and Jim was starting to feel nervous as well. He still gave Bones a smirk.

Bones raised his hand, "Round one goes to Spock!" Jim sighed, still grinning. Spock merely nodded.

"He had to win one, right?" Kirk joked. "Bring out the next batch, Bones."

"Captain, must we continue with this pointless game?" Spock sounded exasperated. Jim flashed him a grin, as the crowd chuckled. Uhura was looking particularly smug.

"Here's round 2." Bones placed another concoction on the table; this one was white in color. "Ready, set, GO!" Bones exclaimed, looking on dubiously as Kirk grabbed his drink and started gulping it down. Spock continued with his previous tactic, and still finished his drink faster than Kirk. Jim gasped as he set down the second drink and swayed as he gulped down air. Spock still remained stoic.

The crowd had come closer and Kirk could see Sulu and Chevok looking at him with curious and exasperated expression. Kirk sighed and looked at Spock.

"You're looking good." He stated, his voice only slightly slurred.

"I am in perfect condition, Captain." Spock replied, still looking like he was in perfect control. But was there just a slight tinge of excitement in those eyes, or was he imagining things. Kirk decided it must be the light.

He turned to Bones who was appraising Spock with increasing amounts of respect. Bones turned to him. "Out of luck Jimbo." Jim glared at him and Bones smirked.

"Round 2 goes to…" Bones was interrupted as a new song came on, Fire Burning. And suddenly Spock started singing along with the music.

Everyone went silent as Spock sat in his chair, his back perfectly straight a looking in perfect control, except he was _singing_. He continued to sing,

"Let's Go  
Hey, hey, hey  
Red One  
Hey Hey  
Shawty got that super thing  
Hotter than the sun of south in spain  
Got me soon as I walked through the door  
My pocket started tickle-ing  
The way she dropped it low that thang  
Got me wanna spend my money on her, her

She get it pop it lock it drop it,  
That birthday cake,  
Got a candle, need to blow that crazy flame away  
Now take my red, black card and my jewellery  
Shawty is cool like the fire,  
Cool like fire

Somebody call 911  
Shawty fire burning on the dance floor  
Whoa  
I gotta cool her down  
She won't bring the roof to ground on the dance floor  
Whoa  
She's fire burning, fire burning on the dance floor  
That little shawty's fire burning on the dance floor  
Shes fire burning fire burning on the dance floor  
That little shawty's fire burning on the dance floor  
Fire burning fire burning

That body is a masterpiece  
The order is one in every hundred years  
But ain't no doubt i'm taking it home  
I'M AFRAID WE'LL BLOW THEM LEGS  
Little mama game is about to change  
She'll be on covers over the world

She get it pop it lock it drop it that birthday cake  
Got a candle need to blow that crazy flame away  
Take my red, black card and my jewellery  
[ Sean Kingston Lyrics are found on .com ]  
Shawty is cool like the fire  
Cool like fire

Somebody call 911  
Shawty fire burning on the dance floor  
Whoa  
I gotta cool her down  
She won't bring the roof to ground on the dance floor  
Whoa  
She's fire burning, fire burning on the dance floor  
That little shawty's fire burning on the dance floor  
Shes fire burning, fire burning on the dance floor  
That little shawty's fire burning on the dance floor ."

He looked at them curiously and slowly petered out.

"Is there a problem, Jim?" Spock asked, innocently. Jim's jaw dropped.

"You just stared singing, Fire Burning. And you called me Jim!" Jim stated, in astonishment.

Spock raised an eyebrow, "And the problem?"

Kirk began to laugh, "Nothing Spock. Nothing at all. I think this game's over." He grinned. Spock blinked, looking at a loss.

"But neither of us has become inebrati…inebra…" Spock struggled with the word, looking extremely frustrated.

"Inebriated?" Bones suggested, a smile tugging at his lips.

"Exactly."

"Oh, I don't think that's a problem Spock. Seriously. Let's call it off, and go have some fun!" Jim stood up, only slightly woozy on his feet. Spock blinked and then stood up as well.

"That is an excellent idea, Jim. If you will excuse me." Spock bowed, and then turned to face Nyota. "Nyota, if I may have this dance?" He offered his palm, willfully unaware of the fact that the whole room had gone silent and was watching him in awestruck fascination.

Nyota seemed taken aback and then grinned, "Sure Spock. I'd be honored." She placed her hand in his and a Kirk watched, he led her off into a corner of the room. Seeming blissfully unaware of the fact that everyone was starting at them, Spock led Nyota in a quick swing dance, even ending the dance with a dramatic aerial. By the time they were done, Nyota was panting and gasping for breath. Spock looked completely at ease.

Jim looked on as Uhura walked towards him, a glint in her eye. "Jim, what the hell did you put in Spock's drink?" She hissed, extremely angry. Jim raised his hands.

"How was I supposed to know he'd react like that to some chocolate liquor?" He asked, feigning innocence. Inspiration struck and her face became even colder, though he could see a tint of amusement in her eyes.

"You jackass!" She hissed and then turned to walk back towards Spock, who was now dancing by himself. Jim joined the rest of the crew, clapping along to the music as Spock did a jig.

"Come on Spock, let's go." Nyota motioned towards the door. Spock stopped dancing and looked at her curiously.

"What is wrong, my love?" He moved towards her, reaching up to cup her cheek. Jim gaped, Spock had never even acknowledged his relationship with Uhura before, except during the Nero crisis, and now he was leaning in to kiss her.

Jim could see that Uhura was blushing, but she did not retreat. "Spock, our _Captain_ tricked you. He gave you chocolate. Come on, please?" She took his hand in hers, ignoring the astonished looks they were getting.

"My dearest, although I would love to accompany you and participate in any activities which you find pleasurable, must we leave so soon? I would like to sing a bit more." Spock gave her a pleading look. Kirk chuckled as Nyota tried to shrink down into her clothes and disappear. Sulu was nudging Chevok, who had turned bright red.

"Really honey?" Uhura sounded desperate.

"Please Ny?" he asked, using her pet name. Kirk fell against Bones in disbelief, shocked as Spock made puppy eyes. Nyota looked equally furious and embarrassed.

"Oh fine, go sing your song Spock." She sighed and turned away, tugging her hand out of his. Spock quickly grabbed her and pulled her into a short kiss. "Thank you, sweetie pie." And then Spock _smiled_. He let Nyota go and walked purposefully over to the computer. "Computer, play "Your Beautiful," by James Blunt." Spock stated calmly. Jim turned to stare at Bones, who was looking paler than usual.

"What have we done, Bones?"

"I don't want to know." Bones scowled, looking horrified. A slow steady rhythm began playing and Spock started signing.

"My life isbrilliant. My life is brilliant, My love is  
pure. I saw an angel. Of that I'm sure. She  
smiled at me on the subway. She was with another man. But I won't lose no sleep on that, 'Cause  
I've got a plan. You're beautiful.  
You're beautiful. You're beautiful, it's  
true.I saw your face in a crowded place, And I  
don't know what to do,..."

Spock sang on and on, standing with his hands clasped behind him. His gaze never left Nyota's, and tears were welling up in her eyes. When the song ended Spock gave a small smile and the whole room awed.

"Oh, that was so touching," Chapel stated, wiping her eyes. Jim looked around the room, and noticed that Scotty was sobbing uncontrollably into his drink, while Sulu was supporting a teary eyed Chevok. Jim turned to Bones and saw a few tears trickled down the other man's face.

"Bones, are you _crying_?"

"Oh, shut up Jim." Bones growled and turned away. Jim didn't know what was more comical, the fact that Spock had just walked over to Nyota and was kissing her again or that Bones was crying. Deciding his plan was going to backfire Jim walked over to Spock.

"Hey love birds, cut it out. Otherwise we'll have to call the Star Fleet and tell them two of our officers died from lack of oxygen." Kirk smirked as Nyota shot him a glare.

"Great singing Spock. I think you'll like this song even better! Computer play, "The Ballard of Bilbo Baggins."" A quick upbeat and silly song came on. Spock looked surprised but picked up the song quickly,

"In the middle of the earth in the land of the Shire

lives a brave little hobbit whom we all admire. With his long wooden pipe,

fuzzy, woolly toes,

he lives in a hobbit-hole and everybody knows him

Bilbo (Bilbo)

Bilbo Baggins

He's only three feet tall

Bilbo (Bilbo)

Bilbo Baggins

The bravest little hobbit of them all

Now hobbits are peace-lovin' folks you know

They don't like to hurry and they take things slow

They don't like to travel away from home

They just want to eat and be left alone

But one day Bilbo was asked to go

on a big adventure to the caves below,

to help some dwarves get back their gold

that was stolen by a dragon in the days of old.

Bilbo (Bilbo)

Bilbo Baggins

He's only three feet tall

Bilbo (Bilbo)

Bilbo Baggins

The bravest little hobbit of them all

Well, he fought with the goblins

He battled a troll!!

He riddled with Gollum!!!

A magic ring he stole!!!

He was chased by wolves,

Lost in the forest,

Escaped in a barrel from the elf-king's halls!!!!!!!

Bilbo (Bilbo)

Bilbo Baggins

The bravest little hobbit of them all

Now he's back in his home in the land of the Shire,

that brave little hobbit whom we all admire,

just sittin' on a treasure of silver and gold

puffin' on his pipe in his hobbit-hole.

Bilbo (Bilbo)

Bilbo Baggins

He's only three feet tall

Bilbo (Bilbo)

Bilbo Baggins

The bravest little hobbit of them all"

Spock moved away from Nyota and began doing a little jig, while everyone watched. People started laughing so hard that they could no longer hear Spock. Nyota looked furious.

Suddenly Spock did a small jump and ran over to grab Kirk's hands. Kirk blinked as Spock grasped his hands tightly and fell to his knees in front of him. "Captain, can I have chocolate? Please? More chocolate?" Spock made puppy eyes at Kirk, but all Jim could do was gape. Spock's lip started trembling.

"Spock…uh…I think your good on chocolate." Jim stated, grimacing.

Tears began to appear in Spock's eyes and he bit his lip. "Oh please, Jim. I promise to be good!" Jim looked over at Nyota, panicking. Nyota was looking at him, furious. He gave her a pained expression, hoping she could help him. She shook her head slightly. Jim looked down at the Spock face.

"Spock, you really had enough chocolate already." Jim stated, nervously. Spock started sobbing, holding Jim's hands to his face. Jim could do nothing but stand there, feeling immensely uncomfortable.

"Oh, go ask Uhura. She might give you some, Spock." Jim stated, desperately. Spock face immediately perked up and he turned to Nyota. Nyota shot a glare at Kirk, who ignored it. Spock grabbed Nyota around the waist, and pressed his face into her stomach. She looked extremely annoyed but stroked his hair gently.

"Oh, Spock. Fine, I'll get you some chocolate. But you must promise not to ask for more." She stated, cupping his cheek. His eyes lit quickly and he smiled.

"I promise. Promise. Now chocolate please!" he stated, looking like an eager child. Kirk watched as Uhura gently pulled herself away and went to retrieve some chocolate from a replicator. Spock waited patiently, sitting on the floor. When she arrived she handed the chocolate to him, with a smile. He took it eagerly and stood up. He seemed to have changed again.

"Thank you my love." Spock stated, and leaned in to kiss Nyota once more. Worried that they might start a full out make out session in front of him, Kirk told the computer to play, "Don't Stop the Music," by Rihanna. When the music started up Kirk did a back hand spring, showing of his moves. He winked at Spock when he stood up, to a series of applause.

"Thank you, thank you! But I bet Sulu here, and Spock could beat me!" Kirk sent out the challenge.

Sulu rolled his eyes but stepped into the circle which had been formed by the crew. He quickly completely a back handspring, to a back flip, and a twist. He landed perfectly and bowed, smiling at Chevok who was clapping enthusiastically. Spock narrowed his eyes and stepped into the circle. He straightened his uniform and Kirk stepped back, waiting to see what the half-Vulcan would come up with.

Spock took a moment, waiting for the music to start up a very quick temp and then did a double back flip. He landed perfectly, and had barely touched the ground before he was sailing in the air again, completely a forward flip, into a double twist. He landed perfectly and nodded to Kirk and Sulu. Jim stared at him opened mouthed, not missing the smirk that Spock had on.

"Your turn Captain." Spock stated calmly. Jim gulped, oh boy. What had he started now? He stepped onto the dance floor and did a back flip into the splits. He winced at the pain and couldn't stop the swear word from escaping his lips. There were a few, "Oh, that's gotta hurt," and a round of applause. Sulu didn't look impressed and grinned as he stepped onto the dance floor.

He did a front flip, landing on one leg, and then did a backwards aerial, landing straight on his back and doing a back roll onto his feet. He bowed to the roaring crowd. Oh, Spock couldn't beat that, Jim thought smugly. He gaped as Spock stepped onto the dance floor, looking unperturbed.

Spock stood, keeping time with his foot. Then suddenly he jumped backwards, doing a double back handspring. The moment he touched down his did a triple front flip, and landed in a perfect handstand. The crowd was going wild, but Spock wasn't finished yet. No, removed one of his hands and went up onto one _finger_. And he proceeded to do _pushups_ while in his one fingered handstand.

Kirk stared in astonishment as his first officer rolled out of his handstand and immediately fell onto his hands. He did flairs on the ground, and then without even touching the ground propelled himself upwards with such force that he managed to do a double back flip before landing a perfect split, his legs touching the ground completely, not a centimeter of air between him and the floor. And he didn't even wince!

Kirk had to applaud along with everyone else as Spock stood up, looking just as composed as before, except for the fact that he was grinning from ear to ear.

Kirk turned to Bones, dumbfounded. "When did he learn break dancing?"

"How the bloody hell should I know?" Bones answered, his eyes bulging. Jim turned back intending to ask Spock, but Spock was gone, disappearing through the crowd after Uhura.

Kirk turned to one of the engineering lieutenants, "Someone got that on video right? Please tell me you got it on video?"

The lieutenant looked at him and grinned, "Oh I sure did! Even the singing!" And a grin broke off on Jim's face. Spock was _never_ going to forget this.

Spock reported to duty the next morning with the biggest hangover he had ever had, his head hurt so much that looking at the light almost brought tears to his eyes. But he had to report. Spock missed the traditional greeting that Kirk threw at him, merely nodding and shutting his eyes slightly.

"Hey Spock, I asked you how you feel?" Kirk's voice sounded loud and annoying in his ears.

Spock barely contained a groan and turned to look at his grinning Captain, wishing he could hit the man. "I have no comment on that matter."

The room burst into laughter and Jim chuckled, "Oh, good. I just thought you might be feeling you know, hung over. But as you are clearly fine maybe you wanted to see the video we got of you?"

Spock closed his eyes, knowing he was turning green. "That would be fascinating." Spock stated and then suddenly his stomach heaved and he turned and ran towards the turbo lifts as fast as possible, clutching his hand to his mouth and shutting his eyes as his mind exploded.

When he returned to the bridge several minutes later it was to find everyone staring at him, some amused some sympathetic. Kirk was looking at him with an expression of concerned amusement. "Spock, I'm disappointed in you. Getting drunk, tut tut. I thought you'd be more logical than that."

Spock gulped and raised an eyebrow, "You are so dead, Captain." He stated and leaned against the wall with a small moan.

* * *

So?

Please review! I recommend that you look up the bilbo baggins song on youtube...with Nimoy...priceless!

Also, i finally finished my "SPocktacular" story...and i've finished my "From the Beginning" one as well....also i started on the sequel to "From the Beginning"

so check it out!


	6. Chapter 6

Sorry for the late update! I'm really sorry! i've had so many other things going on =(

So, here you all go! Hope you like it =)

Thanks for all the reviews!

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Chapter 6:

Spock sat in the Captain's chair, his back straight, his hands clasped in his lap and his eyes focused ahead of him. He seemed for all the world the perfect second in command, keeping the ship in perfect condition while the Captain returned to his quarters for the night.

If anyone had been able to read his mind they might have been surprised at what they found there. Nyota was fortunately the only one who could sense his thoughts, and her amusement only added to his determination. He simply needed to wait a bit longer, to make sure that everything was in place. He had calculated that the exact number of seconds it would take for the Captain to reach his room and then to set the plan in motion. Spock had no illusions about what Kirk's response would be.

Spock leaned back slightly, fighting hard to suppress a mischievous smirk. He must calm himself. He must. He took a second to listen to Nyota's thoughts and converse through the bond.

_Nyota, why are you thinking off our first kiss? What relevance does that have to our present situation?_

He felt Nyota's surprise and saw her glance at him from her con.

_Just daydreaming that's all. What the hell was that? Did you just have a fleeting image of Kirk in his boxers? _She sounded incredulous and Spock flushed. He had no idea where that had come from, but then again he had been thinking about how amusing it would be to play this particular prank on the Captain.

_I have no idea. I assure you, the Captain's underclothes are not of interest to me._

_You sure I don't have competition?_ She asked mischievously.

Spock was appalled at the notion and let her know it. She snorted out loud and he glanced at her. "Lt. Uhura if I may ask what is so amusing?" He teased. She pressed her lips together to stop from grinning as she glanced at him.

"Nothing Cm. Spock." She turned back to her consol. Spock pressed his fingertips together and rested them against his lips. It should be happening in less than thirty seconds. He held his breath.

Then finally it came through. "Cm. Spock we have an incoming message from Star Fleet. They say it is urgent." Nyota told him in a perfectly professional tone. Spock glanced at her and nodded.

"Please acknowledge." He replied calmly and smiled inwardly.

Jim sighed and rubbed his eyes. He was exhausted out of his mind, having had a double shift. He was looking forward to a long shower, and a real one at that. None of that sonic junk that left you feeling clean but still completely stressed. He smiled wryly and stripped off his shirt. Next went the pants and the shorts. He tossed them all in the recycler and then grabbed a towel.

He stepped into the shower and turned the water on nice and hot.

"Ahh…." He sighed as the warmth hit him and started soothing his aching muscles. He closed his eyes and turned his face into the steaming water. It felt absolutely wonderful. He could stay like this all day. All thoughts of the long day on the bridge vanished, leaving him feeling happier than before. He forgot about the blunder he had made with the Trill Ambassador and forgot how he had barely managed to save the day with Spock's help by dressing up as a Trill and singing a ballad for the Trill princess. One of the most embarrassing experiences of his life, although he had to admit that Spock's voice had truly complemented his.

Jim shook his head and cleared his thoughts again. He closed his eyes and grabbed the shampoo. He squirted some into his palm and lathered it in his hair, playfully molding it into spikes. He laughed at his own childishness and wondered what the crew would think if they saw him now. Better not to think about work. Or the fact that he hadn't gotten laid in over a month. Stinkin space.

"I guess Bones was right on that account. Nothing but darkness in space. And the best girl is taken by my first officer." He mumbled to himself. "Well, Spock is pretty good looking. Still, really! Of the guys to get Uhura, it had to be him." He grumbled. Deep down he found their relationship kind of cute but that didn't stop him from grumbling.

"I need to speak with Captain Kirk this instant! It is an emergency! You must get him on the line now! I only have seconds!" the voice declared. Spock blinked and nodded.

"Of course, if you will give me a moment." He made eye contact and leaned over to hit the con.

Jim jumped into the air and his head the shower head when the intercom suddenly beeped and Spock's voice came through, "Captain we have received a message from Star Fleet. They say that you are needed this instant. Please report now."

Jim blinked, why didn't Spock tell him who needed to talk to him so urgently. That was odd, but he brushed it off. He groaned, why now?

He leaned out of the shower and hit the com, "Spock I'm busy right now! I'll be up there in a few minutes."

"Captain I do not believe you understand the gravity of the situation. You are needed within the next few seconds. If you are ready I will have Scotty beam you to the bridge this instant." Spock declared.

Kirk froze in horror. What? "Spock! No, wait! Wait one second!"

"Captain we do not have one second." Spock replied. Jim swore explosively, forgetting that everything he was saying was being projected through the intercom.

"Great! After everything that happened today! Now this! This had better be good! Taking a bloody shower." He quickly turned the water off and ran out of the bathroom. He sprinted towards his drawers completely naked and jerked the top one open. He had to get dressed before Spock beamed him up!

"Spock! One sec! Please!" Jim yelled desperately and grabbed a pair of underwear. He pulled them on as fast as he could and grabbed a shirt and a pair of pants.

"Captain we are beaming you to the bridge now." Spock's voice resonated through the room. Kirk froze and then rapidly tried pulling on his pants. As he did his foot slipped and he fell to the ground by his bed. Suddenly he felt the typical sensation of having his particles disassembled and then reassembled. His final thought as he left his quarters was that he was going to kill Spock the moment he got his hands on him.

Spock turned off the intercom and barely contained a grin as he surveyed the crew. The whole conversation had been broadcasted through the ship. Now, to see how the Captain was fairing. Right on cue Kirk started to rematerialize next to him. Spock stood up and stood to attention as the captain emerged.

It took all of his Vulcan will not to burst into laughter when he saw Kirk. The Captain rematerialized on the floor, his pants around his ankles.

Kirk glanced up as he arrived on the bridge and froze. Everyone was staring at him. He glanced down and blanched, he had grabbed his kitty boxers, with pictures of cute little cats. And he had put them on backwards! His pants were also skinny jeans, which explained why he hadn't been able to pull them one. He stumbled to his feet and jerked his pants up and turned to Spock.

"Spock, what the hell is the meaning of this?" Kirk exclaimed. Spock was the perfect image of innocence, except Kirk could have sworn he saw a glint of amusement in those eyes.

"Captain I assure you, it was an emergency." Spock motioned to the monitor. Kirk glanced over and his jaw dropped. Spock hadn't been kidding when he said Star Fleet needed him.

"Ah, Captain Kirk. Did we catch you at an inopportune moment?" Asked Pike with a smiled. Kirk's eyes widened and he glanced down at himself again. He was completely wet and then he noticed that everyone on the bridge was trying not to laugh.

"Um, no Admiral Pike." Kirk snapped to attention, "If I may ask. What is emergency?" he was eager to get this over with. He did not like being in his boxers in front of the man he most admired.

Pike smiled on the screen, "Oh. Yes. Of course. I just called because I wanted to tell you that I finally found that peach and mandarin conditioner you wanted and that I could have it beamed to you immediately. I wanted to catch you before you got in your shower, but I appears that I was too late." Pike stated calmly, his eyes twinkling.

Jim stared in absolutely shock and then stumbled backwards into his chair, "You called for that?" He asked, his voice low. Pike smiled a broad smile.

Jim looked between him and Spock who was pointedly looking away and suddenly it hit him. "Spock!" he growled. His first officer glanced at him, trying desperately not to smile. Jim glared at him.

"You did this!" he accused. Spock simply blinked.

"I do not know what you are referring to Captain." Spock stated calmly.

"You know exactly what I'm talking about! You and Pike!" Jim glared at him and then at Pike. Pike whistled a tune.

"Captain Kirk you mustn't accuse without evidence. Oh, and I like the hair like that. You should do it more often." Pike stated cheerfully. And then suddenly the whole room was filled with laughter as everyone broke down in fits of giggles.

Jim could do nothing but sit there and flush red at the laughter overwhelmed him. And then he realized that all of this was being broadcasted around the ship and that Chekov had been taking a video and had now posted it on the interglaxial YOUTUBE.

Kirk bowed his head down and covered his eyes, "You've got to be kidding me! You've so got to be kidding me!" he exclaimed as Uhura rolled on the floor laughing.

"I assure you Captain that Admiral Pike was correct in his assessment. You're hair style gives you a very gangsta' look." Spock stated sincerely. Kirk could have killed him.

* * *

Sorry it was shorter than the rest.....so...how was it?

Reviews make my day and help me become a better writer =)

Also, if anyone has any good ideas please tell me! I will give credit if i decide to write about the idea ^_^


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